Goggles In Space

 As another year rolls by, the one thing i have amassed is undoubtedly gratefulness - For not having fallen sick or bedridden or hit by cyclone or met with an accident or stranded on an unknown street. Grateful for the little bounties of happiness:  pleasure of dancing - Methil Devika concert in Feb, the many monthly meetups 'Arangu that i coordinated at Kalaanjali and the dance year culminating with Annual Day 'Shakti" where i was part of semi classical dance 'Thaye Yashoda'. For Dusseshra , i did a with few other ladies under Shamil's choreography and it was well appreciated. rasika joy - attended many carnatic concerts in person - Sandeep Narayan,Malladi Brothers, Akkarai sisters, Dr Ramaprasad and many online ones too Finding Nadasurabhi and Ranjani Fine Arts was a blessing. Retail therapy- Shopping for Cheeku college and my teeny tiny online shopping including 2 kurta from Shrishti collections, near poornathrayeesha temple. Movies-  opening of PNR felicity...

It indeed was a Shakti pareeksha, atleast for me. Like for all Kalaanjali functions, irrespective of whether i am performing or not, i was excited from many days. When Uma chechi handed the draft script and asked me to start selecting music, i was involved.  When i was finalised for 'Thaaye Yashoda' ,i was the happiest. I could dance with Krishna, thinking about him, listening to the stories. After learning Bhairavi jatiswaram, i had requested Uma chechi for teach a krishna song, so this was double sweet. I would look forward to every practice session and felt his divine presence in each. Costume was finalised and color code was blue-green, tying the saree in maharashtrian style.  Since Shakti's date coincided with my periods date, i started medication too. First time in life, without thinking of the side effects it may cause or the conflict with my medical condition. I didnot tell anyone at home for fear of being rebuked. After a couple of days, i felt like i am putting on...

It has been a month since you moved to hostel to pursue your dream. To me, it feels like an year has passed. Thats why i keep calling you many times a day, to hear what you do, how your days are and all your visheshams. By now, you would have gotten used to wearing kurtas which is nice. Next is reducing a few kg's .That will make you energetic and wiser :) I am always thinking about you, except probably when i am doing yoga or at the gym. When i prepare food, especially your favorites (pasta, mushsroom,paratta,boli and of course when there is chicken or fish in the house), your face flashes. I have started taking shower in your bathroom, trying to wash hair with RO water to see if hair fall reduces. the state of your hair makes me upset, but i dont know how to get it fixed. Good that ayamma is there to wash the laundry, now you can give her instead of piling it up. it is also good you reduce screentime and start doing some chores yourself. Life skills are often picked during hostel...

For the first time in our 20 years of being together, Sree has requested me to learn and sing this. Whether i can sing or not, it deserves to be in here : popular Kannada song , Sung by : Dr Rajakumar and VaniJayaram Sadaa kannali pranayada kavite Haaduve Sadaa nannali olavinaa bayake tumbuve sada kannali pranayada kavithe haduve sada nannali olavinabayake thumbuve sada kannali pranayada kavithe haduve kanneradu kamalagalante Mungurulu dumbigalante kanneradu kamalagalanteeeee Mungurulu dumbigalante Nasikavu Sampigeyante Nee nagalu Hoo biridante Nasikavu Sampi$geyante Nee ee nagalu Hoo biridante nadeyutire naatyadanteeeee nadeyutire natyadante Ratiye Dharegilidante EE Andakeee sotenuuu Soote Naanu F:Sadaa kannali pranayada kavite Haaduve gudugugalu taaladante minchugalu meladante suriva male neerella pannir hani haniyante suriva male neerella pannir hani haniyante joteyagi neenire saaku bhoolok swargadante EE premakee sotenu soote naaanu Sadaa kannali pranayada kavite Haaduve Sadaa nann...

Oct 31 2024 was a very significant milestone for me. Completing 20 years in wedlock is no small feat. Two human beings, from two different backgrounds, with different thoughts and ideologies living together to make family calls for compromises and adjustments. While i have done everything possible to make this a love story and a successful marriage, it doesn't seem to have materialised the way it should be but i cannot think of another way of living either. I donot have courage to run away and start a life of my own. I so belong here, with my husband and children and i need them around me. We have a beautiful house, and 2 smart children. Goddess Lakshmi and Saraswati have blessed us in abundance. I express my gratitude in every breath and have imparted the same to my children too but in vain. It is painful fact. More than a hundred times, i have felt no place in this house as a mother or wife, rather only as a mere cook or maid.  More than a hundred times i have fought with everyon...

This year Sep 15 which is my birth date had a super speciality - Thiruvonam 2024 and to top it, it was a a Sunday! By all means, it was a great day to be celebrated . I was looking forward to the day since many weeks - feast for lunch, cake cutting, dinner at aurum and so on..New dress was ready, and also ordered a set mundu from Suma (friend from dance class who does exceptionally beautiful murals). To my dismay, Sree left for Kerala to celebrate Onam. inspite of my plea , he said he would come back Sunday but i had small hope he would be back for my birthday. Since last few years, he has been celebrating Onam with his parents. While i am unhappy, i know i shouldn't be. They are more dear to him than even his kids , i suppose. BDay cake cutting started on Sep 14 at dance class, followed by few hours of fun and frolic at Shalini's place for utradom. She cooked up a heavy feast, leaving no stone unturned and i did total justice , leaving only curry leaves on my banana leaf.

For the past few months, i have been quite regular with excercise - mostly badminton followed by 20 minutes of cycling or running at the gym followed by stretches on the yoga mat. Few times, my heart rate at the beginning itself goes to 180-190 , so i pause take some deep breaths and only after it comes to 140ish i resume workout. Today, i didnt play baddy because Sree is out on a business trip. After the kitchen work, i headed to gym did some warm up and started cycling. Heart was pounding and dreading an epileptic attack ,I tried to slow a bit but heart rate was still up. Inspite of slowing down the pace, heart rate constantly went up and hit 200. I didnt give up. Between 185 and 200, i did the workout for 30 mnts and then took a break. Drank water and went on to do walk on treadmill with incline. There also heart was pounding , not going down from 185. I was dreaming of a massive cardiac arrest, falling off the treadmill dead. But nothin close to that happened and i am very much ali...

The memories of walks, jogs and our silent talks Gushed into me while you weren't around ! You challenge me to set my goals and meet  every day, every week and for months galore You push me to work harder not give up but get stronger You track my day, every moment like no one ever did or will do ! My travel was filled with fun and fantasy and miles and miles of walk i truly know your company  would have made it worth a talk ! Three years and more to go You are truly nice and tagged for more ! Oh ! how i missed you my priceless watch you aren't just a thing, but worth a lot more !

As a mother, i can still not accept you are an adult. 18 for me is just a number, an impression of the last 18 yrs we spent together. My motherhood journey started in US -  talking to you while you were still in my womb, noticing your kicks, listening to your heartbeat during the doctor visits and waiting to come back to India. Some days were bad, sometimes okay. You didnt trouble me much during pregnancy, so it went quite ok. Without laptop, work sometimes took toll ending up in office late into night when all i urged was come back home to relax. The doctor consultations at St Johhs is still vivid in my mind, the long wait for scans were boring but everything went well by God's grace.  For delivery, daddoo and I got admitted to hospital about 3-4 days in advance. We spent time walking, watching TV and waiting for labor pain to start. But even past due date, when i didn't experience the pain,doctor suggested C section but daddoo insisted . I was ton waiting for normal delivery...

So the next chapter in my dancer life begins in Feb'24 with guru teaching Saurashtra "cholkettu".As she rightly observed, it did bring an extra 'glow' on my face and Sus helped capture those moments. It might take another few more classes to complete learning and several hours before i can perfect it. While some of those who started the dance classes with me had already completed learning cholkettu, Uma chechi didnt think i was ready since dance base was missing. At 42, i was learning dance for the first time in life. Mohiniyattom is not just a collection of footwork and hand movements, but a lot more. There is abhinaya, nuances of kathakali being seen in many of the padams, not like the bolywood numbers which i have performed before on stage. May Chidambaranatha be with me and my Lord Poornathrayeesha who always resides in my heart..

1. When you hold my hand and places them unto yours On drives they bring, a smile on the face for hours We rattle and gossip and babble and fight Hand on hand, makes them feel light 2. My Morpheus when you are on the bed cozy and ted  I cuddle unto your bossom and gets lost instead The warmth of your breath and the hug so tight Soothens my soul and plunge into the night 3. Walks or runs or movie or gym without your companionship, days would be grim Everyday is a beginning, let us start afresh grant me small wishes and tits of refresh 4.We rattle and blabber and gossip and fight i owe you in millionfolds to be by my side ! You are the storm and also my peace The color in my life and the cheesy grace. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I didn't have any expectations from you 20 years ago but we both do now. chankalle, karalalle, karmeghamakalle !

Her hair all over her face Days ahead would be a race The tired body always craving for food Good mood or no mood But her soul would talk to the bud and silently watch the kicks She knew she was gonna be a mother ----------------------------------------------------- Her hair all over her face Shameless body lying on the stretcher The throbbing pain and none to caress Muscle spasms and shivers were to pass She cried aloud until the feeble cry was heard Her angel's face touched her cheek The tears of joy falling off her eyes She knew she is a mother ! Baby cries and sleepless nights She learnt to wrap her warm The little fingers and toes holding hers She knew she is a mother She knew she is a mother

  An year of 3T's - Travel , Temples and Theater - a roundup of 2023 ! 5 trips to hometown in Kerala, some of them extending South making them more explorative. Touched Kollam for a wedding, Trivandrum to spend time with a close college friend , Varkkala to experience the beautiful white sand beaches.  Made a cameo appearance at Hyderabad for a close friend's son's upanayanam. Some well time spent unwinding and dancing ! 2023 was also an year of office going, team lunches and carnivals, the biggest one hosted at Leela Palace. While travelling in Bangalore traffic needs several days of pre planning, it felt nice to meet people , especially after about 2 years of Working From Home. Also hit a significant milestone of 2 working decades this year. Never thought i would come this far ! A girls trip to Vietnam-Cambodia was a feather in the crown (Hanoi-Siem Reap). I hopped on a 'meticulously' planned trip to these asian countries. While the travelogue is still pending,tha...