Goggles In Space

There was a time when i used to rever ,wonder and admire old infoscions - people who have spent 15 years, 20 years etc. I would imagine big palatial houses, shares and tonnes of money in bank account which sets them for life, big cars and a wonderful family. In less than 2 weeks, i am completing 18 years and I don't feel any sense of achievement ! In fact i never thought I would be completing the 18th year of my IT career with Infosys. I earnestly wanted to be part of another organization playing a bigger ,powerful role ! Infosys was definitely my dream job. In spite of high academics when i didn't get selected from Campus while half the class did, when i was wandering from one test center to another , battling between multiple interviews in Bangalore , Infy gave me solace in April 2003 , that vishu day i can never forget. It presented so many pleasant experiences , big and small including my first international trip ! While Pune gave me freedom to think and choose what i wante...

Dark, plump, hairy hands/legs - That pretty much described my teenage and early adult days. Oil ,talcum powder, shinkar bindi and kanmashi were probably the only make up items i was exposed to. No beauty parlors ,threading, waxing whatsoever ! The first time i threaded my eyebrows was for Vineetha chechi's wedding, in third year of engg..Can never forget the pain but the outcome was good - felt like a forest cleared to build a house. That beautician had done a great job - she gave my brows a nice shape which was to continue forever (or until now) and got me many good compliments ! Coming back to the intended content, so plump and hairy that I was wearing skirts stopped probably at 10 or 11 years of age. The outfit chosen for me was churidar , many a time old ones from cousins adorned my almirah ( I used to love wearing those ). It continued during college days too. We had uniform but on rare occasions when we could wear color dress, churidar was the chosen one. Only difference was ...

 I don't know when i started having this feeling of guilt but now it is so strong that combined with OCD it just drives me nuts during days. Growing up, i feel guilty if i lied or did something which is a NO from parents but it was a one off feeling. Today it has become an integral part of my emotion, myself. if we eat out at restaurant or buy bakery stuff or processed food items, then i feel guilty Thought of making cake or anything sugary ( with sugar and not jaggery) fills me with guilt (by the way we are a sweet loving family and dessert is must after lunch and dinner) Buying sweets or savories or any processed meat fills me with guilt if i spend too much money, feeling of guilt kicks in (By the way, I spend money only if really needed and rarely for not so needed items) if i don't cook enough veggies in a day, i feel guilty. If i don't spend enough time on official work , then guilt   If i don't excercise/yoga , then guilt  Almost at all times during the day, i ...

The pearl and gold necklace.. About 2 years ago, i realised that i had lost the pearl embedded gold necklace which was bought for my wedding. I cannot recollect the last time i wore it , so it is difficult to narrow down the point when the necklace went missing.Memory says it was bought when ammuma gave a cheque of 25000 (?). Those days 8 grams of gold (1 pavan) was less than Rs 5000. This one was about 5 pavans and though i liked its design, i remember telling amma to buy something which will help with the wedding chains.(We didnt hae the luxury to buy lot of gold or change this again). Long story short, we zeroed in on this and bought it. I wore it for Nannu's wedding in 2010 and may be in 1-2 more occasions. Post any wedding, normally we come back to Madathil  and then i take off all the gold. In case , we are unable to go to bank and deposit it there before returning to Blr, Husband hides it in some old shirt or shoe. I don't remember the last time i wore but couple of year...