Kalaanjali Annual Day 2024 (Shakti)

It indeed was a Shakti pareeksha, atleast for me. Like for all Kalaanjali functions, irrespective of whether i am performing or not, i was excited from many days. When Uma chechi handed the draft script and asked me to start selecting music, i was involved. 

When i was finalised for 'Thaaye Yashoda' ,i was the happiest. I could dance with Krishna, thinking about him, listening to the stories. After learning Bhairavi jatiswaram, i had requested Uma chechi for teach a krishna song, so this was double sweet. I would look forward to every practice session and felt his divine presence in each. Costume was finalised and color code was blue-green, tying the saree in maharashtrian style. 

Since Shakti's date coincided with my periods date, i started medication too. First time in life, without thinking of the side effects it may cause or the conflict with my medical condition. I didnot tell anyone at home for fear of being rebuked. After a couple of days, i felt like i am putting on weight , but the scale showed the same weight. Later i understood the bloating was caused by Primulet. couple of days before Shakti, Sreekutty came home from college with terrible viral fever and body pain. She was so weak ,she ended up sleeping for about 24 hrs. I was scared if i would fall sick too and i did. without much thought, i started taking medicines for cold and cough too.

The day before Shakti, we had a full rehersal. I was abit bloated and lightly sick but that didnot mar my cheer. Making laddoos, decorating the pots with peacock feathers and Yashoda's house with sarees, everything was very new to me. Rehersal went well. Back home, i was bit tired but fnished all chores and got everything ready for the next day.

24-Nov : 5:00am - No water day begins (For fear of peeing, i had to be alert on the amount of water consumed). Got in the cab and reached Koramangla Club to start make up. After makeup, i didnt wear the saree until 8am due to fear of 'pee'. I tried to remain cool as cucumber though 100% sure i might forget a step or two. Ate a sandwich but no water. The function was about to start and we were called for prayer, i could feel dryness in mouth and heavy heart. While i wanted to watch the performances, headache set in. I somehow sat through and then it was time for Thaaye. 

A dance stage is very alien to me, but i didnt bother because Krishna was around. I forgot everything and danced with joy. Panic attacks followed and headache increased. I gulped a tablet with 1 sip of water and continued till the grand finale. I didnt want to ask teacher if i could change to the normal saree style and pee, thinking it would be so trivial to her on this big day. I was smiling all through, trying to hide. I was too hard on myself, trying to be resilient and strong. After the event, while i wanted to hang around take pics, and help with clearing up the stage, i couldnt. So rushed out, changed , drank water and got home. By then, i was highly constipated also. Combined with headache and panic attacks, i felt like collpasing. Sree drove me home, but on the way Uma chechi called and asked why i felt leaving half of the things of 'thaye' dance there. There were sarees to be taken and given back to the owners, stool , and other props which i was supposed to own and give back to the owners. 

Next time, when i sign up for these things, i ought to be extra careful and think about what my health allows !


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