Weddings are made in Heaven or ?

Oct 31 2024 was a very significant milestone for me. Completing 20 years in wedlock is no small feat.

Two human beings, from two different backgrounds, with different thoughts and ideologies living together to make family calls for compromises and adjustments. While i have done everything possible to make this a love story and a successful marriage, it doesn't seem to have materialised the way it should be but i cannot think of another way of living either. I donot have courage to run away and start a life of my own. I so belong here, with my husband and children and i need them around me.

We have a beautiful house, and 2 smart children. Goddess Lakshmi and Saraswati have blessed us in abundance. I express my gratitude in every breath and have imparted the same to my children too but in vain. It is painful fact.

More than a hundred times, i have felt no place in this house as a mother or wife, rather only as a mere cook or maid. 

More than a hundred times i have fought with everyone in the family to treat me with empathy and show some care and respect, for i have worked only for this household all these years and i think i deserve it. I have tried hard to shoulder responsibilities as a mother and wife, more than i have as a daughter but i am surrounded with abuses than appreciations, faults than the rights.

More than a hundred times i have wanted to go away and live alone but i fail.

I love my husband deeply and it only seems to grow by the day. His heart is my solace and his cuddle brings joy. I am not the most loved human being to him but he can be kinder !

As the morning dawns and we get into our realms, either there is silence or fight. He doesn't have any time to listen to me, sit with me, talk to me or pacify me. My pains are not his, my dismay not his own.

I have a treasure trove of dreams and desires, every single one having Sree's presence. Some day, my love for him and the children will be remembered. In that hope, i live. 

Weddings happen on earth but the wedded can make it heaven. Unlike ours ! We 'are' the poles and i can only pray we dont remain at the poles.

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