Goggles In Space

This is my first notice period as i have never out my papers yet, Infy being my first and perhaps the longest ever ! And tis time me and Sree both are on NOTICE! We are both embarking on new jobs almost around same time. While he is joining as Sr Director in Ness Digital Technologies , an Israeli Indian Company, I am joining Accenture as Manager. Super excited at this juncture of life but I wonder if God has different plan. (will need another blog) . I have been job hunting actively since last year when LinkedIn project was giving me hard time and management support was lacking. The PM in my team (apparently a mallu and good friend) who was supposed to report to me was having ego issues and made my life worser. The good work done , my commitment and long hours were never appreciated. So after very long, got my resume updated and put it up on LinkedIn website. Job hunting is like shopping. You don't get what you "when" you want. But at a time when you really dont need it. ...

Intimacy is not about sex. It is about trusting ,listening , sharing, caring and assuring you are there for your life partner.  Sreetta You often told me we are ONE and I took it by the word. Over the years it changed my life. I believed that you are there for me, with unconditional love and support. It gradually made me dependent on you and took away my independence. I was blind with love and respect for you. But the reality is far from this promise. Neither you or kids were dependent on me for anything except meals, laundry or the household chores. Its a hard reality you guys can live the entire life without me ! But if i want to go on a vacation or file my tax or play baddy or go to locker to get my gold or sleep well at night or even walk in the community , i needed you !  From Mar 2020, we are all home. I was happy cooking meals and cleaning up while juggling with work. But slowly , it was just upon me while you could have supported me better. Watsapp and media changed yo...

May 2018 : Return from US after 5 years of tay Nov 2018 :  It was our new apartment registration day when i felt something weird for the first time. Sitting in the car, we were heading to the registration office. Initial payment formalities were done and this was the big day. I was as excited as a child , my dream coming true. So i didn't give much thought to the weird feeling and let it go. However, it kept coming back. In December i caught Typhoid and soon after recovering got busy with home pooja and shifting. Sree was joining a startup with a great pay hike. From every angle, there was an aura of happiness.  Feb 2019 :  Even after we got settled at the new house, i noticed that the weird feeling wasn't going away. I felt as if my body was getting warmer, some kind of numbness, nauseating sensation , fear etc not just once or twice a day, but several times in the day.My energy levels were dropping and i felt difficult to work. Friends told me it was visible on my face ...

The husband's family has been very welcoming in the past years for me and my children which is because of their affection for Sree. I have been grateful for that and thought it was a great blessing to have such inlaws. Infact, during our Kerala vacations, i stay at "Madathil" more than my mother's place which is just a stone's throw away . I enjoyed the open talks with in laws , mostly mother in law who is almost always home. She shares stories from her past, her separation from parents and upbringing by grandparents , her marriage related stories ,her belief in God, in fate etc. I have shared some of my experiences which are very different from hers. The sister in laws haven't been very great but our interactions are not too much and by far , it has been so-so. However, I have had some negative remarks /instances specially on topics related to children. Also in 2010, when we got Jaundice, in laws treated me as if i was the reason for Sree to catch Jaundice. m...

2000 : My closes encounter with cancer was when my best friend and engineering classmate Anupama was diagnosed with Leukemia. She was my hostelmate too and usually goes home (Allepey) every weekend (like me) .  Just after College day and when she didn't return, I called her from the nearby bakery (no cell phone age). Her mom said she has fever. Companies were coming for campus recruitment, so i called again after couple of days but answer was that she will take few more days to return. I was confused. To this date, I don't know how her cancer was detected and what stage of cancer it was. She was like ay other girl. Energetic with lot of oil in hair and very affluent unlike me. She had done a superb show dancing for College Day along with Giggle and there were no symptoms of fever r tiredness. Even now, if i close my eyes, i can see her in that marron attire with French braided hair.  Later she sent me letter from Vellore about her cancer and we started exchanging letters. She ...

I never had in my wildest dreams what it would be to spend 17 years  together bonded with a "stranger" when i got married but I did. It was one of highs and lows, cheer and tear , pride and prejudice but we did it and might traverse a lot more together! My happy place is in your heart! We both were round in shape for marriage and have come a long way in the fitness journey. What probably started with a little extra care post Jaundice in 2010 has followed us till date. Regular excercise and eating home made food became our mantra. In this journey, we have both inspired each other. Sree's ability to set targets and work hard to achieve it amazes me though he doesnt set them often ! Ha ppy 17th anniversary to us and wishing many more :) As far as my memory goes, we haven't been away for any of our anniversaries until now, including the  very adventurous first one where i could fly in time to London to cut the cake ! So let this be a change. We are like the poles of a mag...

Recently my post on Motherhood journey was published in Infosys Official LinkedIn Page. It was a special experience as my blogs (read thoughts) are totally private and hasn't been read by anyone. I don't read news, share my views on any socio political issues nor read other's views. So even writing an article for Infosys and getting it published was unique (Little did i know this was a branding technique by the company).When i wrote it and showed Sree just before Mother's Day this year, he suggested about publishing it in my FB page. Initially i was reluctant but later thought it would be a nice idea. Received lot of likes, encouragement and appreciation. However, some of Sree's friends commented that the article completely neglected the reference and contribution of the man who was very much part of the journey till this point !  Everyday i feel my motherhood has been a failure because i dont show any love to the children though they are everything to me ! All i do...