Goggles In Space

 As another year rolls by, the one thing i have amassed is undoubtedly gratefulness - For not having fallen sick or bedridden or hit by cyclone or met with an accident or stranded on an unknown street. Grateful for the little bounties of happiness:  pleasure of dancing - Methil Devika concert in Feb, the many monthly meetups 'Arangu that i coordinated at Kalaanjali and the dance year culminating with Annual Day 'Shakti" where i was part of semi classical dance 'Thaye Yashoda'. For Dusseshra , i did a with few other ladies under Shamil's choreography and it was well appreciated. rasika joy - attended many carnatic concerts in person - Sandeep Narayan,Malladi Brothers, Akkarai sisters, Dr Ramaprasad and many online ones too Finding Nadasurabhi and Ranjani Fine Arts was a blessing. Retail therapy- Shopping for Cheeku college and my teeny tiny online shopping including 2 kurta from Shrishti collections, near poornathrayeesha temple. Movies-  opening of PNR felicity...

It indeed was a Shakti pareeksha, atleast for me. Like for all Kalaanjali functions, irrespective of whether i am performing or not, i was excited from many days. When Uma chechi handed the draft script and asked me to start selecting music, i was involved.  When i was finalised for 'Thaaye Yashoda' ,i was the happiest. I could dance with Krishna, thinking about him, listening to the stories. After learning Bhairavi jatiswaram, i had requested Uma chechi for teach a krishna song, so this was double sweet. I would look forward to every practice session and felt his divine presence in each. Costume was finalised and color code was blue-green, tying the saree in maharashtrian style.  Since Shakti's date coincided with my periods date, i started medication too. First time in life, without thinking of the side effects it may cause or the conflict with my medical condition. I didnot tell anyone at home for fear of being rebuked. After a couple of days, i felt like i am putting on...

It has been a month since you moved to hostel to pursue your dream. To me, it feels like an year has passed. Thats why i keep calling you many times a day, to hear what you do, how your days are and all your visheshams. By now, you would have gotten used to wearing kurtas which is nice. Next is reducing a few kg's .That will make you energetic and wiser :) I am always thinking about you, except probably when i am doing yoga or at the gym. When i prepare food, especially your favorites (pasta, mushsroom,paratta,boli and of course when there is chicken or fish in the house), your face flashes. I have started taking shower in your bathroom, trying to wash hair with RO water to see if hair fall reduces. the state of your hair makes me upset, but i dont know how to get it fixed. Good that ayamma is there to wash the laundry, now you can give her instead of piling it up. it is also good you reduce screentime and start doing some chores yourself. Life skills are often picked during hostel...

For the first time in our 20 years of being together, Sree has requested me to learn and sing this. Whether i can sing or not, it deserves to be in here : popular Kannada song , Sung by : Dr Rajakumar and VaniJayaram Sadaa kannali pranayada kavite Haaduve Sadaa nannali olavinaa bayake tumbuve sada kannali pranayada kavithe haduve sada nannali olavinabayake thumbuve sada kannali pranayada kavithe haduve kanneradu kamalagalante Mungurulu dumbigalante kanneradu kamalagalanteeeee Mungurulu dumbigalante Nasikavu Sampigeyante Nee nagalu Hoo biridante Nasikavu Sampi$geyante Nee ee nagalu Hoo biridante nadeyutire naatyadanteeeee nadeyutire natyadante Ratiye Dharegilidante EE Andakeee sotenuuu Soote Naanu F:Sadaa kannali pranayada kavite Haaduve gudugugalu taaladante minchugalu meladante suriva male neerella pannir hani haniyante suriva male neerella pannir hani haniyante joteyagi neenire saaku bhoolok swargadante EE premakee sotenu soote naaanu Sadaa kannali pranayada kavite Haaduve Sadaa nann...

Oct 31 2024 was a very significant milestone for me. Completing 20 years in wedlock is no small feat. Two human beings, from two different backgrounds, with different thoughts and ideologies living together to make family calls for compromises and adjustments. While i have done everything possible to make this a love story and a successful marriage, it doesn't seem to have materialised the way it should be but i cannot think of another way of living either. I donot have courage to run away and start a life of my own. I so belong here, with my husband and children and i need them around me. We have a beautiful house, and 2 smart children. Goddess Lakshmi and Saraswati have blessed us in abundance. I express my gratitude in every breath and have imparted the same to my children too but in vain. It is painful fact. More than a hundred times, i have felt no place in this house as a mother or wife, rather only as a mere cook or maid.  More than a hundred times i have fought with everyon...

This year Sep 15 which is my birth date had a super speciality - Thiruvonam 2024 and to top it, it was a a Sunday! By all means, it was a great day to be celebrated . I was looking forward to the day since many weeks - feast for lunch, cake cutting, dinner at aurum and so on..New dress was ready, and also ordered a set mundu from Suma (friend from dance class who does exceptionally beautiful murals). To my dismay, Sree left for Kerala to celebrate Onam. inspite of my plea , he said he would come back Sunday but i had small hope he would be back for my birthday. Since last few years, he has been celebrating Onam with his parents. While i am unhappy, i know i shouldn't be. They are more dear to him than even his kids , i suppose. BDay cake cutting started on Sep 14 at dance class, followed by few hours of fun and frolic at Shalini's place for utradom. She cooked up a heavy feast, leaving no stone unturned and i did total justice , leaving only curry leaves on my banana leaf.

For the past few months, i have been quite regular with excercise - mostly badminton followed by 20 minutes of cycling or running at the gym followed by stretches on the yoga mat. Few times, my heart rate at the beginning itself goes to 180-190 , so i pause take some deep breaths and only after it comes to 140ish i resume workout. Today, i didnt play baddy because Sree is out on a business trip. After the kitchen work, i headed to gym did some warm up and started cycling. Heart was pounding and dreading an epileptic attack ,I tried to slow a bit but heart rate was still up. Inspite of slowing down the pace, heart rate constantly went up and hit 200. I didnt give up. Between 185 and 200, i did the workout for 30 mnts and then took a break. Drank water and went on to do walk on treadmill with incline. There also heart was pounding , not going down from 185. I was dreaming of a massive cardiac arrest, falling off the treadmill dead. But nothin close to that happened and i am very much ali...