Goggles In Space

There was a time when i used to rever ,wonder and admire old infoscions - people who have spent 15 years, 20 years etc. I would imagine big palatial houses, shares and tonnes of money in bank account which sets them for life, big cars and a wonderful family. In less than 2 weeks, i am completing 18 years and I don't feel any sense of achievement ! In fact i never thought I would be completing the 18th year of my IT career with Infosys. I earnestly wanted to be part of another organization playing a bigger ,powerful role ! Infosys was definitely my dream job. In spite of high academics when i didn't get selected from Campus while half the class did, when i was wandering from one test center to another , battling between multiple interviews in Bangalore , Infy gave me solace in April 2003 , that vishu day i can never forget. It presented so many pleasant experiences , big and small including my first international trip ! While Pune gave me freedom to think and choose what i wante...

Dark, plump, hairy hands/legs - That pretty much described my teenage and early adult days. Oil ,talcum powder, shinkar bindi and kanmashi were probably the only make up items i was exposed to. No beauty parlors ,threading, waxing whatsoever ! The first time i threaded my eyebrows was for Vineetha chechi's wedding, in third year of engg..Can never forget the pain but the outcome was good - felt like a forest cleared to build a house. That beautician had done a great job - she gave my brows a nice shape which was to continue forever (or until now) and got me many good compliments ! Coming back to the intended content, so plump and hairy that I was wearing skirts stopped probably at 10 or 11 years of age. The outfit chosen for me was churidar , many a time old ones from cousins adorned my almirah ( I used to love wearing those ). It continued during college days too. We had uniform but on rare occasions when we could wear color dress, churidar was the chosen one. Only difference was ...

 I don't know when i started having this feeling of guilt but now it is so strong that combined with OCD it just drives me nuts during days. Growing up, i feel guilty if i lied or did something which is a NO from parents but it was a one off feeling. Today it has become an integral part of my emotion, myself. if we eat out at restaurant or buy bakery stuff or processed food items, then i feel guilty Thought of making cake or anything sugary ( with sugar and not jaggery) fills me with guilt (by the way we are a sweet loving family and dessert is must after lunch and dinner) Buying sweets or savories or any processed meat fills me with guilt if i spend too much money, feeling of guilt kicks in (By the way, I spend money only if really needed and rarely for not so needed items) if i don't cook enough veggies in a day, i feel guilty. If i don't spend enough time on official work , then guilt   If i don't excercise/yoga , then guilt  Almost at all times during the day, i ...

The pearl and gold necklace.. About 2 years ago, i realised that i had lost the pearl embedded gold necklace which was bought for my wedding. I cannot recollect the last time i wore it , so it is difficult to narrow down the point when the necklace went missing.Memory says it was bought when ammuma gave a cheque of 25000 (?). Those days 8 grams of gold (1 pavan) was less than Rs 5000. This one was about 5 pavans and though i liked its design, i remember telling amma to buy something which will help with the wedding chains.(We didnt hae the luxury to buy lot of gold or change this again). Long story short, we zeroed in on this and bought it. I wore it for Nannu's wedding in 2010 and may be in 1-2 more occasions. Post any wedding, normally we come back to Madathil  and then i take off all the gold. In case , we are unable to go to bank and deposit it there before returning to Blr, Husband hides it in some old shirt or shoe. I don't remember the last time i wore but couple of year...

Jan 22, 2021 was a particularly happy day. While the husband was coming to monitor the "Sreerekha" house renovation work, i slipped into the car for a quick visit to Ameda Nagaraja temple. It was the last temple visit in my list . Though very close to both our homes, i hadn't gone there in a long time, hence the wish. It was very peaceful at Ameda. After a quick stop by at the goshala, we sat near the backwaters just behind the temple. The waters brings in so much peace and tranquility. This time's Kerala visit included several backwater and lake sighting but it never ceases to bring the same positivity and peace as it did the first time.  After Ameda visit, we both went to the renovation site and then he dropped me at amma's place. Plan was to visit ammuma , stay at chitta's place , attend the utsavam at Ernakulam temple and return the next day. The cab came around 3:30 pm and we were at her place at 4pm. Ammuma's memory was clearly deteriorating exponent...

 Life has changed a lot - pre US and Post US days.  We live in surplus. There are more clothes , shoes, cosmetics and so many other material things than our need. While returning from US. There are more watches than we need. Ecodrive watches which i had gifted to amma and Hari were not even working because of lack of sunshine /any light for that matter (Each one would be easily worth more than $100) . Many things in this house are unused and we don't even know about it. The Harman Kardon Onyx speaker which was one of Sreettan's fav in US has become a showpice . Coach and Kate Spade handbags which i fancied for a long time while in US lay unused. There are so many shoes and sandals for each of us. There are collectibles and fridge magnets which we have forgotten about and are lying i boxes unopened. A whole knife set which we bought from US lies in Kerala. There are so many backpacks -Columbia, Nike etc safely nestled inside shelves. Even after giving to Sreettan's nephew an...

I can never forget that Black Day when i revealed that i had an affair in college. Of course, it was nothing like the kind of girl friend - boy friend type seen these days but I didn't want to hide anything before marriage. Your next question was should i tell your dad and i was dumbfound.  Soon after college, i had presented this at home. He was placed from campus in Chennai and was drawing a good salary but he was an ezhava. Achan got so angry at me that my whole body literally was shaking. He even called P's dad and blasted him also. Amma thought either me or achan would get a heart attack during that whole incident. I cried like never but realized this will not happen because he was compassionate and a kind person at heart. We used to talk about keeping part of whatever we earn for sharing with the needy etc. Later on when i went to Bangalore, he came to see me 2 times from Chennai. Short meeting in park or temple and I would come back to ammai's house. He used to call ...