Madathil...(Thiruthu in PS)

 My posts wouln't be complete if i don't talk about my inlaws. Ours was an arranged marriage and I knew very little about Sree before wedding and almost nothing about his family. After marriage , we haven't stayed here for long except the weekend visits. Probably the first time i spent time with them was in 2006 after Cheeku was born. My mother in law has taken extremely good care of me and the baby after 40th day (Till then we were at mom's place). Cheeku was a cranky baby and mother in law would walk around with her for long so that i get rest. Food was just awesome, almost everything from the backyard. The next time I spent time with them was after Appu. She took great care of Cheeku who was left with in laws during and after my delivery as amma couldn't handle 2 kids in spite of having a full time home nurse and our regular servant. Again, by second month, I was brought to in laws where i spent the next 2 months under extremely loving care of my in laws ,especially mother in law. Father in law was hardly home as he had various other engagements - grocery, treasury, temple management etc.

From 2010, we started leaving the kids with in laws during summer holidays for a month. She did A-Z for them with no complaints. They would return to Bangalore chubbier and healthier than they had left. Almost everything she fed them including ghee was home made and fresh from the backyard. These times often turned into our honeymoon time and we romanced at movies , restaurants ,malls etc. Our nanny would also assist her and go to her house by evening. This must have been the routine for 3 summers and then in 2013 we left for US, with plan to come back in 1 year which eventually turned out into 5 years.

Back in India, we again spent a nice 3 weeks in Kerala before heading back to Blr. The Madathil house has always been my destination to relax and rejuvenate even though many times we often had no outings , other than probably visit to amma, chitta and sister in laws'. My mother in law was the sincerest lady i have met in life and the hardships she went through the toughest of all. She was an embodiment of patience and love. Some afternoons after lunch we used to spend hours talking about her childhood and my childhood. The only things which she couldn't stand were accusing The Husband or kids. To her, her son was the perfectest gentleman with absolutely no bad qualities. She would force food on him as if he was a toddler who didn't know what to eat and how much. She would make what he liked for snacks and lunch. When we are at home, she spends most of the time in kitchen and on other days she is mostly in the backyard - planting , cleaning , watering plants etc. She has never complained about the number of sarees she has or made any wishes. (She probably just has one-tenth the sarees my mother has). She has made loneliness her companion . from when she got married and came here, she has been doing the chores of the house, bringing up 3 kids while being a high school teacher traversing min of 3 hours daily. It astonishes how she continues to work hard even in her late 70's. I may not be the best daughter in law for this house but amma and acha, you both are the best i could get !

Sree is my Beloved one too but he is not the perfectest husband. He is a better son any day than a fantastic husband - Any parents' dreamkid. Knowingly or unknowingly, he has a differential behaviour towards his parents and sisters. The sister in laws are a team and they haven't included me into theirs, even after our marriage of 16 years. 

Etta : While this post is dedicated specially for my sincerest mother in law, it is also a reflection of my pain as your wife. You are a teetoaller (not since last 2.5 years though)and don't have any bad habits whatsoever (except for nail biting which irritates me)! You don't pick up fights or annoy others at all. But do you justify your attitude towards me ? Ever since we met each other, I haven't had any other man in mind. Did i not love you sincerely ? Why did you take me for granted in spite of repeatedly saying i have no one else other than you ? Have you paid an ear to what i say ? Perhaps if you had just spent one-tenth of the time spent of watsapp and listening to videos on social media, my heart wouldn't have had a void. I miss having a soul sister who would listen to what i have to say and envy your sisters for that. 

Thiruthu-  I have been very open in my conversation with Madathile amma about US life around kids, chess, swimming, hiking, travelling etc until one day she banged at me saying "Rekhakku America mathi". Ithokke kalyanam kazhikkumbol chodikkanamayirunnu illenkil kettiyalkku thalavedanayakumallo. I was taken aback. Totally unexpected. She has told me innumerous times the story of her upbringing and how she stepped into misery at Madathil post wedding, that fil didn't even have a govt job while she was a high school teacher earning much more than him, how she had to travel to Mattanchery everyday, 3 pregnancies back to back - all ending in "fate" or "vidhi". Amma had gathered in her head all what i have been saying and concluded that i cannot tolerate India or its beings, quite contrary. 

I loved to stay in US but I have never cribbed about leaving US .I just wanted to be where family was. There were innumerous people who advised us against going back but my answer was always same - Husband's decision is the final for me. Infact i was ready to return an year earlier but Sreettan decided to stay back.