Goggles In Space

I n the blue room, where medical wisdom unfold On the couch I lie, trying to be bold The heart aches deep, needle makes its ride Twitching and stinging but no 'beloveds' by my side. Each prick, a whisper of silent woe Am i aging and not taking it slow ? When tears roll down my cheek What can I do but quietly let them leak My dreams - hiking, trekking and dancing i cant but watch them go crashing Let me live my life, and say goodbye To relieve the pain, I take more and sigh ! To dance and sway and climb the steps  with mindful leaps and soulful preps.

 Mar 30 ,2025 Sunday : Sree woke upto Mahesh's call..it must have been around 6-6:15 am and i was just about to get up too. The call which started on a casual note soon changed tone and didnt feel right. I thought it was probably one of Sree's projectmate Mahesh informing about family member's health issues/death/unexpected travel etc and asking for leave. Sree got up from bed and as soon as the call disconnected told me , Manoj marichu ! i was like 'which Manoj' ? and what followed was silence and shock ! Our friend Manoj collapsed at the Costco (retail giant in Bay Area) passed away in California. This was not even in my the farthest thoughts, so took time to accept.  Sree spent the next few hours informing his seniors at Infosys, to extend all HR help etc. We wondered what could have happened all of a sudden and how to help Rajitha. Thanks to some of our friends who stay near her place, Jayasree, Sajitha, Smitha, Beaula who rushed to her with their husbands to su...

Everyone is born with a purpose, they say but i dont know what i am born for.  In early years, i didnt know anything about purpose of life. I was just like any other kid in the little town of Tripunithura, school going with lot of lice in my curly, thick, oily hair and stuffy nose. In high school purpose in life was excelling in academics, be teacher's pet, and carve a path to get a job. Financially independent and helpful to parents not give them any headaches. Especially, those 'grave' days when ammuma sold off 'Gokulam' which was supposed to be for amma without even informing achan/amma and achan would lie on bed,in deep thoughts. May be about the housing loan he whad to pay off and our education expenses. Inspite of treading on a virtous path, i failed as a daughter very many times. I have failed as a mother inspite of taking utmost care of the children from the moment they were conceived. Cooking the most nutritious food for the children, maintaining extra hygi...

Usually i dont take new year resolution but this time if at all anything, i want to reduce junk food and buying clothes (dress, saree everything) - i really really want to !  -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Stroke of midnight : Amidst crowd in Koramangla enjoying new year ! It was Sree's idea to go out and see the crowd after he finished work around 11 pm. I was pretty sleepy but any chance to be out, i cant resist. HSR seemed very silent so we drove to Koramangla, parked the car somewhere and walked into the crowd. Bottles on the side, ,loud music from pubs , policemen and women to control the crows, it was a different experience. My fears as always were within, so i held on to Sree's hand. First New Year without Cheeku with us. Spoke to her on phone. They did a small cake cutting , she looked happy. 1:30am: Reached home after witnessing New Year crowd in pub streets of Koramangala. i was dead sleepy by then and Appu...

 As another year rolls by, the one thing i have amassed is undoubtedly gratefulness - For not having fallen sick or bedridden or hit by cyclone or met with an accident or stranded on an unknown street. Grateful for the little bounties of happiness:  pleasure of dancing - Methil Devika concert in Feb, the many monthly meetups 'Arangu that i coordinated at Kalaanjali and the dance year culminating with Annual Day 'Shakti" where i was part of semi classical dance 'Thaye Yashoda'. For Dusseshra , i did a with few other ladies under Shamil's choreography and it was well appreciated. rasika joy - attended many carnatic concerts in person - Sandeep Narayan,Malladi Brothers, Akkarai sisters, Dr Ramaprasad and many online ones too Finding Nadasurabhi and Ranjani Fine Arts was a blessing. Retail therapy- Shopping for Cheeku college and my teeny tiny online shopping including 2 kurta from Shrishti collections, near poornathrayeesha temple. Movies-  opening of PNR felicity...

It indeed was a Shakti pareeksha, atleast for me. Like for all Kalaanjali functions, irrespective of whether i am performing or not, i was excited from many days. When Uma chechi handed the draft script and asked me to start selecting music, i was involved.  When i was finalised for 'Thaaye Yashoda' ,i was the happiest. I could dance with Krishna, thinking about him, listening to the stories. After learning Bhairavi jatiswaram, i had requested Uma chechi for teach a krishna song, so this was double sweet. I would look forward to every practice session and felt his divine presence in each. Costume was finalised and color code was blue-green, tying the saree in maharashtrian style.  Since Shakti's date coincided with my periods date, i started medication too. First time in life, without thinking of the side effects it may cause or the conflict with my medical condition. I didnot tell anyone at home for fear of being rebuked. After a couple of days, i felt like i am putting on...

It has been a month since you moved to hostel to pursue your dream. To me, it feels like an year has passed. Thats why i keep calling you many times a day, to hear what you do, how your days are and all your visheshams. By now, you would have gotten used to wearing kurtas which is nice. Next is reducing a few kg's .That will make you energetic and wiser :) I am always thinking about you, except probably when i am doing yoga or at the gym. When i prepare food, especially your favorites (pasta, mushsroom,paratta,boli and of course when there is chicken or fish in the house), your face flashes. I have started taking shower in your bathroom, trying to wash hair with RO water to see if hair fall reduces. the state of your hair makes me upset, but i dont know how to get it fixed. Good that ayamma is there to wash the laundry, now you can give her instead of piling it up. it is also good you reduce screentime and start doing some chores yourself. Life skills are often picked during hostel...