If I succumb to death...

This is ONLY a figment of my imagination, fueled by the many deaths all around. Newspaper, watsapp forwards, chat with friends - its all about this COVID 19 virus and its variants. It attacked me first time in Feb'21 but not day was spent at the hospital. 

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I know this is too early to write but somehow i feel the pandemic would eat me - a lung infection ,unable to find a hospital bed, oxygen supply. I dread to think how painful it would be to die after battling breathlessness. Would i want to fight infections ,probably losing an important function or body part in the process ? Would i be willing for Oxygen masks throughout life due to weak lungs ? Would i want to drain out all the money we have accumulated over time for education and our retirement ?

I cannot even think of witnessing any death in the family dying nor can i stand it. I am very scared to die but even more scared of a lonely life. My children are independent and the husband can easily forget me in his family's presence. I wouldn't be missed a  lot ! Amma will probably be the only one who wouldn't be able to take the news as she is already handicapped with Hari's illness. 

I would have donated my organs but who would take it from a COVID patient ! I couldn't donate my plasma and the guilt shall be with me until i die !

Just burn me here

In this city's pyre

Don't drop a tear

i can't see or hear

Give away my shoes and dresses

To the poor who are in distress

Kids - i loved you with all my soul

Hate me not , if it took a toll

Live with truth and honesty

Help the needy with modesty

Be there for each other 

Love and care for one another

My love for you shall never die

My love for you shall never die !


Kids - 

You had a very fortunate life which amma or daddoo didn't have but dreamt of ,which your grandparents couldn't even imagine. Wherever you go, whatever you do, remember that . Be grateful and thankful for what we had and don't crib about what we don't ! We started our journey together 17 years back with zero savings and grew each penny to multiples. If we can do this, you can do much more ! Forgive me for the occasions i have pulled you down and rise up  ! Sky is the limit..

Sreetta

We married and fell in love. We fought and hugged. We shouted and kissed. We travelled, ate chocolates, ice creams and had lots of fun. We took a million pics together ! There is no place I would be happier than with you but don't join me too soon. 

PS : I am eating the last piece of the cake i baked 3-4 days back while writing this. What else shall i call this but a blessing !

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